“How do you do X?”
“How can I do Y?”
“Can you tell me how you got (or I can get) Z?”
These three questions can lead to some of the most uncomfortable conversations for both the person asking and the person asked. To often, their response to the answer is some form of:
"Yeah, but I could never do that, because....."
To those being asked
This is a test of your patience. If you value the relationship, it represents a prime coaching opportunity to help someone overcome what are often own self-imposed limitations. Do that have as much money or time or influence or experience or passion or [whatever]? Maybe not, but everyone has resources and efforts that they can invest to move them from where they are toward where they express as a desire.
This is that moment to help them see what they can do and help them take their next step.
To those asking
If your first response is to identify why you can’t do something, then why did you ask? Make sure that your question was intentional to move you closer to a goal; not as an opportunity for you to justify why you haven’t achieved it.
A good rule of thumb is to avoid #YeahBut as your response to recommendations or advice. Instead, use #YesAnd (which is a much better way to respond).
